Club Can't Handle Me
by JiffyKate
Summary: This is a one-shot for our friend Amy. Please don't hold any references to pit licking against us. It's rated M for a reason. All human...a little gansta...just like Amy.


**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. All song lyrics belong to Flo Rida. All ideas belong to me.

* * *

I walk into the club and the bass is beating. The lights are dim and the music is loud. For a moment, I think about just heading back to the apartment. I could be curled up with a good book right about now. But the music is calling to me and I immediately feel the need to hit the dance floor and find a corner where I can let loose. Alice will, of course, make her way to the middle. That girl has no shame. I'm a little more reserved with my dance moves. The last thing I want is for some sweaty-ass guy grinding up on me. I don't come here to hook-up or pick-up. I'm just here for the music and to keep Alice off my ass for never going out.

"I told you this was going to be a good night to come," Alice says loudly over the music. She winks at me and points to the dance floor.

Oh, God. Now, _him_, I might let grind on me. He's definitely new. We come here almost every Thursday night, because Alice has a huge crush on the DJ, but I've never seen this guy. He's in a white wife-beater, cap turned around backward, and loose fitting jeans, hanging low on his hips. I feel frozen, just standing there checking him out from head to toe.

"You just gonna stand there all night, or are you going to get out there and shake that fine ass," Alice asks, giggling, backing up toward the dance floor.

I laugh, shaking my head and waving her on.

Leaning against the wall, I watch him. I feel like such a creeper, but I can't look away. His moves are so fluid and he's oozing sex all over the dance floor. I know I'm not the only one who feels it and notices it, because he's catching the eye of every girl in the club, and some of the guys.

My favorite song comes on and I finally push myself off of the wall. It's physically impossible for me to stand still with this song playing.

My hips move on their own and before I know it, I'm lost to the beat. When the tempo changes, I look up to search for Alice, and maybe the guy I was ogling earlier, but if anyone asks, I'm looking for my friend. I catch a glimpse of her spiky black hair and she's dancing in the middle of the floor, a crowd gathering around her. The guy busts into the circle, and before long, they are in an all out battle. You can tell it's all in fun. Alice has a huge grin on her face and so does he. They are both fantastic and keep one-upping the other.

"Alright, you two, I think we can call this one a draw," DJ Jaz says, changing songs and mixing things up a little bit with a slower rhythm. The crowd that was standing around claps and hollers for them, gradually dispersing around the club. Some of the people stay out on the dance floor, finding a partner, but I see Alice walking my way.

"Gah, that was hella fun," Alice beams, sweat dripping off of her forehead.

"You were on fire out there tonight," I tell her.

We turn around and lean against the bar, after ordering a couple of waters. Without permission, my eyes wander over the room, on their own accord, searching for the guy.

"Edward," Alice says.

"What?"

"His name is Edward," she answers, "the guy," nodding with her head over toward the DJ booth, where he's standing.

"Oh."

"He came here tonight with Jaz."

"Well, aren't you just a wealth of information."

"You like him," she giggles, raising her eyebrows.

"Whatever," I shove her shoulder. "Meddling little pixie."

We both down our water. If nothing else, this is good cardio. "Come on, come dance at least one song with me," Alice whined, pulling me toward the middle of the dance floor.

"No, Alice. You know I hate dancing out there. It's too crowded," I pulled back.

"Suck it up, Bella. You can't be a wallflower and expect to take Edward home with you tonight. You've got to show him moves that he's never seen before." She pulls even harder and before I know it, I am in the middle of a huge crowd of people.

"Who said I was taking anybody home with me tonight," I ask incredulously. Folding my arms, I stare her down, but the longer I stand there like that, the more she gyrates around me and on me, making my angry façade crumble.

"Show me what you got, Hot Stuff." It only takes a minute, but I feel myself loosening up, as Alice and I fall into sync. We've been dancing together since we were in junior high. Granted, back then, it was ballet and jazz, but she and I have always shared a passion for dancing. When we were in college, we started frequenting this club, always on Thursday nights, and since we finished college and got an apartment close by, we've continued that tradition.

Flo Rida starts playing and Alice and I really start busting out the moves, getting low, just like the song suggests.

_She hit the floor, next thing you know, shawty got low, low, low, low..._

Just as I am making my way back up, I feel a pair of hands grip my hips and a velvety, smooth voice in my ear, "that was so damn sexy."

Maybe I should turn around and, at least, make eye contact, but I can't. I don't want to. I just want to keep dancing, feeling his hands on my hips, gripping me tighter every once in a while. He begins singing some of the lyrics, in my ear, where only I can hear him.

_Did I think I seen shorty get low?_

_Ain't the same when it's up that close._

_Make it rain, I'm makin' it snow._

_Work the pole, I got the bank roll._

_I'mma say that I prefer them no clothes._

_I'm into that, I love women exposed._

_She threw it back at me, I gave her more._

_Cash ain't a problem, I know where it goes._

Not only does he have some sexy-ass moves, but he has a voice to back that shit up. It's money. The words roll smoothly off his tongue like warm honey.

I close my eyes, getting lost in the moment, and when I open them back up, I notice that Alice is no longer dancing in front of me. As a matter of fact, I don't even know where she is. The whole world could be caving in around me and I wouldn't care. With him this close, I can now smell him, and it's not a disgusting sweaty smell, like most of the guys in here. It's a delicious sweaty smell and something all his own.

Finally, I turn around in his arms, still moving to the beat of the music and I'm accosted with the most gorgeous set of green eyes I've ever seen. His shoulders are broad and his legs are long, which makes him tower over me. He ghosts his hands up my body, lightly brushing my sides. Every touch goes straight to my core, making me want him even more.

I back away from him, moving my body to the beat of the music. Watching him watch me is so sexy. He licks his bottom lip, like he sees something he likes, which encourages me to continue dancing for him, with him. His body starts moving along with mine and before I know it, I'm back in his arms.

Leaning forward, he rests his forehead against mine, our noses almost touching. I have to swallow hard, trying desperately to keep my composure. I mean, we're just dancing. I'm sure he dances with all of the girls like this. It would be so vain of me to think that this is something more than that.

Taking my arm, he places it over his shoulder, and pulls me close with his arm, placing his capable hand at the small of my back. Our bodies are molded together perfectly, moving to the beat that's enveloping us. Occasionally, I grind against him in a sensual way and I can feel the hardness of his body against my skin.

This is by far the most erotic thing that's happened to me in a long time, or ever. More like ever. I'm just not one of those girls that this happens to. Guys don't approach me.

When the song comes to an end, I feel a sadness wash over me. I don't want this, whatever this is, to be over.

He brushes his lips gently across my cheek, whispering in my ear, "Thank you for the dance."

And just like that, he walks away.

Feeling like a complete moron, I stand in the middle of the dance floor and watch him make his way to the DJ booth. Damn, his departure is a sight to behold. Those low slung jeans allow his underwear to show just above the waist band, making my mind think about what is underneath. When he gets across the room, he glances back over his shoulder and flashes me the sexiest smile I've ever seen. I know that they say spontaneous combustion is a myth, but I swear, I'm close.

The heat building between my legs is intense and my panties are wet. Drenched, actually. It started while we were dancing, but that smile was my undoing.

I wave awkwardly and then look away, trying to find Alice, anyone to save me from myself. I see that my corner is vacant, so I practically run back to the safety of my wall.

"What was that," I hear Alice ask, excitedly, as she walks up behind me.

"What was what," I answer, feigning innocence.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you know exactly what I'm talking about." She has a mischievous smirk on her face, her arms are crossed, and she's tapping her foot. Pointing over her shoulder, back toward the dance floor, "That!" Her smirk growing into a full-blown smile, giving the Cheshire Cat a run for his money. "That was like sex with your clothes on."

"Not even, Alice. It was just a dance," I say, fighting a smile. I feel my cheeks heating up at her suggestion. I mean, I definitely had sexual thoughts and feelings while I was dancing with the Greek god, but I don't think the feelings were mutual. Were they?

"Oh, it was so much more than a dance. It was at least foreplay. I'm not the only one who noticed."

"What do you mean?"

"Jazzy was the one to point it out."

"Jazzy?"

"Yes, we're on a nickname basis now." She smiles, looking so proud of herself.

"Alice Brandon, do you have a crush on the DJ?" I grasp my chest in mock shock.

I know Alice has had a thing for him since he started playing at the club. She has commented a time or two that she was just biding her time and waiting for the prime opportunity to pounce, and pounce she will. Along with being shameless, she has more confidence than the United Armed Forces. Alice always gets what she wants.

She smiles knowingly at me, as she backs away onto the dance floor. Soon she is lost in the crowd, but I occasionally see her black spiky hair, as she dances with and around various people.

I can't help but look for Edward. The last time I saw him, he was standing at the DJ booth talking to Jaz. Scanning the club, I see him dancing toward the middle of the floor, not far from Alice.

When I move a little, so that I can get a good look at him, I see that he's dancing with another girl and my vision goes red. His back is turned to me. I can see the muscles in his shoulders flex with every move, and then a pair of hands catch my eye, as they squeeze his fine ass.

I can't explain the feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's not like he's mine. We just met, and technically not even that. We danced together. But for some reason, jealousy is rearing it's ugly head, as I watch his body move and touch and be touched by some blonde bimbo.

"Take this," Alice demands, shoving a shot in my face.

"What's that for," I ask, still fuming from the display on the dance floor.

"Liquid courage," she replies, nodding her head toward where I had been watching. "Throw that back and then get out there and show him what he's missing."

I take the shot, wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, and head out to the dance floor without looking back.

Edward and I occasionally make eye contact, but we don't dance together again. I watch him. He watches me. He smirks. I smile. He busts out some moves. I show him what I've got. The playing field is even.

A burst of courage comes when I see him lose his step after I perform a particularly sexy dance move. He doesn't seem like a person who can be rattled like that, so the power I feel from knowing I did that to him is exhilarating. I decide to test my theory and run my hands down my body, letting one slip between my legs, and then gradually back up. Edward's mouth drops and I can see him swallow hard from across the room. His own hand travels down his body and palms his cock, which I'm assuming is standing at attention. I'd like to know for sure. I'd like to replace his hand with mine.

We go on like this for what seems like forever. Our own little game of cat and mouse, until it's almost closing time. I know it's getting late and the club will be closing soon.

Alice and I have been dancing together for the last couple of songs, attracting stares and a few glares, but it has been fun.

"You ready?" she asks, her face in full-on mischief mode.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," I reply, a little hesitant. I wonder if I'll ever see Edward again. I hope that, since he's Jaz's friend, he'll be back. I can't imagine this being the last time I'll ever see him. I want to ask for his phone number or something, but that seems so forward. There's also the chance of rejection, which I am not interested in.

I look around the club, willing myself to take a chance, but I don't have to, because he's gone. I don't see him anywhere. Jaz isn't even standing at the DJ booth. All of his stuff is packed up and there's just canned music playing through the speakers.

I feel myself sigh heavily in disappointment.

"You ok?" Alice puts her hand on my back, looking at me with concern.

"Yeah, I just thought that maybe..." I trail off. "Forget it. It's nothing. Let's go."

"I'm sure you'll see him again."

"Yeah."

I hear Alice giggle softly as we're walking out and I'm sure this won't be the last I hear of it either. If there is one area of my life that Alice can't avoid sticking her nose in, it's my love life. If she thinks for one second that I might be interested in someone, she'll be all over that.

As we walk out of the club, there leaning against my car, is the sexiest damn thing I've ever seen.

"Uh, Bells, I'm going home with him," she points over her shoulder at Jaz, bouncing on her heels.

I can tell by the look on his face that Jaz didn't know that little nugget of information until about 5 seconds ago, but from the enormous smile that is now plastered on his face, he doesn't seem to mind.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she grabs me and hugs me tight. "Don't let this one walk away," she whispers in my ear. "There are three boxes of condoms in the bathroom."

She quickly kisses my cheek and runs over to Jasper, throwing herself in his arms.

He spins her around and carries her to his car, which leaves me standing in the middle of the parking lot with the Greek god.

"Hey," I say, waving awkwardly.

"Hey," he croons back, melting anything left of my panties. "You hungry?"

"I could eat," I nod, fighting back a smile.

"Good." He turns around and opens the door to my car, "I'm with you."

Oh, god. He's with me. Did I hear him right? Breathe, Bella. Breathe and walk. Get in the damn car.

I get in without saying another word. He closes my door and runs around to get in the passenger side. When he sits down in the seat, I can't help but stare. His eyes lock with mine, and the pull from the dance floor is back. I want him, and if I'm reading him right, the feeling is mutual. Please, God, let the feeling be mutual.

"Where to," I ask.

Edward and I go to the Waffle House and share a large pile of blueberry waffles with peanut butter chips. They are delicious, but what is even more delicious is the gorgeous hunk of a man sitting across the table from me. Under the bright lights of the restaurant, I can see his long eyelashes and the various shades of green that make up his eyes. He has a small dimple that peeks out when he smiles big, and his eyes crease at the sides when he laughs really hard.

We talk like we have known each other forever. It's comfortable. His voice is soothing and sexy at the same time and, as we sit here, waiting for our change, I want nothing more than to take him back to my apartment.

When we get in the car, I see that the clock on the radio reads "2:30".

"I could have sworn that it was just midnight."

"I was thinking the same thing," I laughed.

"I could talk to you all night, but..."

"But you need to get home. I understand." I start backing out of the parking space and then pull up to the turn out. "Which way?"

Edward doesn't say anything and, when I turn to look at him, he's staring at me.

"Um," I swallow hard, his intense gaze has me forgetting my name again. "Wh-which way do I turn?"

"Well," he says, softly, the tone of his voice making me lose all train of thought. "That depends."

"On what?"

"Whether we're staying at my house or yours."

"Oh, well," I sputter. What the fuck? Is he saying what I think he's...oh shit. Did I shave my legs and trim the hedges? I think I did. Was that today or yesterday? Oh, god. Am I really doing this?

"Bella?"

"Oh, right. I, um, well..."

"If you don't want to, that's perfectly ok. You can just take me home or I could..."

"No!" I practically scream, putting my hand up to his lips to keep him from saying anything else.

"I want it. You. I want you...to come over, if that's ok."

He chuckles, running a hand through his hair. "I want to," he says, his voice lowering. He reaches between us and picks up my hand, placing a soft, sensual kiss on my palm. The feel of his lips on my skin makes me moan. "Let's go, otherwise we won't make it out of the Waffle House parking lot," he shifts in his seat, adjusting himself.

Without breaking too many traffic laws, I drive quickly back to my apartment. Neither of us say much on the way there. We share glances and he holds my free hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. Every touch and look has me losing my shit. I can't think of anything else but having his hands on the rest of my body and hearing him talk to me in that low, smooth as silk voice.

"This is it," I say, as I quickly put the car in park and unbuckle my seat belt. I've suddenly developed vampire speed, it seems.

Before I know it, I am out of the car and making my way to my apartment door. I can feel Edward right behind me. I want to turn around and see his gorgeous face, try to get a feel for what he is thinking and wanting, but I can't because I am mentally berating myself, trying to calm the fuck down. Fuck. _That's_ what I want to do. Damn, when did I become such a sexual deviant. When did I start sleeping with guys the first night I meet them? Is this a one-night stand? Holy shit, I'm verging on whore status! Calm your tits, Bella.

As if he can read my mind, Edward reaches up and turns me around, before I can put the key in the door. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to and before you freak out, like I know girls do, it doesn't mean we can't see each other again."

Oh, god. He can read my mind. This is bad.

"Bella, talk to me," he whispers, gently brushing his fingers down my cheek.

Without another thought, I attack his lips with mine. This isn't a soft beginning. It's intense from the moment my mouth touches his. It's desperate and passionate. I turn my head slightly and his tongue glides across my bottom lip. I open my mouth, and when he gently bites my flesh, I can't help the wanton moan that escapes. My hands grip his shirt, wanting to rip it off of his body.

"Key," Edwards says, breathless. One of his hands presses firmly against my back, holding him to me, and the other is trying to pull the key from my hand that is gripped to his side.

He fumbles around until the door opens behind me. We practically fall through the door before Edward kicks it closed behind us, reaching back to lock it.

Just like when we were dancing in the club, our bodies are moving together in perfect cadence. He pushes, I pull. I push, he pulls. With each caress, the need for more increases. His lips leave mine but not for long. Edward presses his forehead against mine, like when we were in the club, and his breath is coming out in loud huffs.

"I've wanted to do that from the first moment I saw you."

"Me, too," I manage to breathe out.

Turning me around, he pushes me up against the door, putting delicious pressure exactly where I want it the most, where I need it. The ache I feel is more of a need than a want at this point. I wrap my legs around his waist, shamelessly rubbing up against him, as he kisses me hard. His hands are in my hair, holding my face to his. My hands are all over him, trying to touch every inch of his body that I can.

"Where is your bedroom," he asks, momentarily tearing his lips from mine.

We immediately go back to kissing.

"Second door. I have condoms," I squeak out, between kisses.

He chuckles and it forces me to lean my head back, looking at him. Did I say something wrong?

"Well, they're not technically mine. They're Alice's. She said there are three boxes and that I could use them...or you could use them...or whatever. Well, not all three boxes. Obviously. Shit."

"You're so fucking adorable." His thumb brushes over my cheek, where I am sure the blush is creeping up from my verbal vomit.

Two minutes later, we are in my bedroom, with one box of condoms. I start fidgeting, looking around my room. I would have sexed this place up, if I knew I was bringing a hotass man home with me tonight. Now what?

"Clothes. Off, " Edward growls, looking at me with eyes that are intense and hungry.

I'm not stupid. I do what the man says, never once thinking about the kind of panties I'm wearing or what I look like out of them. I realize at this moment that I will do whatever he tells me. I've known him less than six hours and he completely owns me.

My clothes are laying in a pile around my feet, and I reach back to take the ponytail holder out of my hair.

Edward steps forward, stopping my hand. "I want to do that part. I've wondered all night what you hair would look like down, spilled across a pillow, while I'm lying on top of you." He slowly takes my hair down, and runs his fingers across my scalp. I almost come from the amazing feeling and his words.

"You're beautiful. Bella is the perfect name. Tell me," he says, seductively, "is it just Bella or is it 'Isabella'?" It doesn't sound cheesy or like some canned bedroom talk. It's sweet and sultry, and adds to the heat that is building between my legs.

"Isabella."

"Isabella," he pulls me closer to him, letting my name roll off his tongue. I need him naked. I need to feel his skin against mine. I need it like the air I'm breathing, what little bit I'm breathing.

"I need you, Edward. I want to feel you," I whisper, tugging at the edge of his t-shirt. When I pull his shirt over his head, for some unknown reason, I feel the urge to smell him. I lean forward, sniffing his chest and then his arm pit, sticking my tongue out and licking it. I just want to see if he tastes as good as he smells, and he does. It's all man, all Edward. I pop the buttons on his jeans, but before I can get them down, he forces me back toward the bed, guiding me down.

His lips are on my neck and my chest, taking a few minutes to kiss each breast. He sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, allowing his teeth to graze the sensitive skin, and I almost come undone. I feel lips traveling down my body and my head is swimming. I hold tightly to Edward's strong shoulders, grounding myself, and holding him to me all at the same time. My body moves with the strokes of his tongue.

I'm not the most sexually experienced person on the planet, but I know that this would be considered exceptional by anyone's standards.

"Edward," I moan, partly in reverence to his mad skills and partly in plea for more.

He slips a finger inside of me, putting pressure on my clit. I feel the coiling deep in my stomach and I know that an orgasm is right around the corner. Between the foreplay on the dance floor and the building anticipation, I'm surprised I've lasted this long.

With just a few more thrusts of his magic fingers, I'm falling over the edge. My leg muscles are shaking and I'm coming apart at the seams. I look up to see him lick his fingers clean. His eyes bore into mine, as he crawls back up my body. When our lips meet again, I can taste myself on him, and a new surge of neediness hits me. I want him inside of me. Now.

"I need you Edward. Please," I beg.

"You never have to beg me, baby," and with that, he stands up and removes his jeans and boxers. I swear, if this were a cartoon, there would be a halo around his cock. It's perfect. He quickly opens one of the condoms and slides it down his shaft. The whole act is erotic and I want to do that for him next time, if there is a next time. Please, God, let there be a next time.

Kneeling back on the bed between my legs, he reaches down and positions himself at my entrance, and with one fluid motion, he pushes inside of me, filling me.

I exhale loudly, relishing in the tightness and sensation. It's like nothing I've ever felt before.

I feel him freeze above me, and when I open my eyes, I realize his are closed. He looks like he's concentrating or, maybe, he's in pain.

"Edward?"

"Just give me a second," he lets out a low, deep chuckle that I can feel all over and inside my body. "You're so sexy, and every time you let out a moan or say my name, I'm so close to coming. I just want this to last. I want to make it good for you."

"It's already been the most amazing experience to date," I tell him, holding his face, so I can see his beautiful eyes. "So, the pressure is off."

With that, he begins to move slowly, keeping his eyes locked with mine. The moment is transcending. Through each thrust, it's like we exchange feelings that can't be put into words. It's so much deeper and more meaningful than a one night stand.

My breath hitches, as I see an expression pass his face looks like how I'm feeling inside.

"This isn't me, Edward," I say, in forced breaths. "I don't just bring random guys home. I need you to know that." My voice is shaky and low.

His thrusts speed up and our movements become more desperate, clinging to each other, holding each other together, while we fall apart in each other's arms. The tightness is back in the pit of my stomach and I know that I'm close. Edward slips a hand in between us, and puts just the right amount of pressure where I need it the most. As I come, I feel his thrusts become quick and sporadic, and his release follows.

We both stay locked together, breathing heavily, both of us refusing to break the connection.

I kiss his face and run my hands through his hair, which is now damp with sweat. He's so sexy. I'm not sure how I got so lucky to have him in my bed, but I don't want him to leave.

"Stay," I whisper.

"I was hoping you would ask," he replies.

I can see the smirk on his face, as he rolls over and pulls me back into his arms.

"Is this ok?"

"Perfect," I sigh, allowing sleep to take over.

For some reason, when I wake up, it startles me that Edward is in my bed. Not that I can forget he was here, I just assumed he'd be gone by now. Like he's too good to be true. Like there is no way he'd still be here come morning. But there he is, all perfect, laying right next to me. His arm is around my waist, and he has a bit of a death grip on me, not allowing me to move, but I'm ok with that.

I lay there for a while, just looking at him, watching him sleep, until he finally starts to wake. At first, I feel my heart speed up, nervous about I don't know what. Him seeing me naked? No, I'm over that. Him seeing me with bed head? I probably should be, but that's not it either. I guess, it's just nervousness over the unknown. Is he just going to want to get dressed and get the hell out of here or will he want to stay?

He opens one eye and squints at the morning sun coming through the window behind us.

"Good morning, Beautiful," he says, in a raspy, morning voice. Damn, I could get used to that.

"Good morning yourself, Handsome."

"I thought that maybe I'd wake up this morning and this would all be a dream. A fanfuckintastic dream, but a dream, nonetheless." He looks up at me with those stunning green eyes and I'm lost. Lost to the fact that he would think that. Lost in his warm gaze. Lost in him.

Morning breath be damned. I need to feel his lips on mine, so I lean forward, slowly, making sure it's ok, and he meets me in the middle.

Our soft kisses, turn passionate in a matter of minutes, and before I know it, I'm having Edward for breakfast. I'd like to have him for every meal of the day. An Edward Diet sounds perfect.

"How about breakfast?"

"We already had breakfast," I giggle, blowing some crazy hairs out of my face.

"Second breakfast is for cool people. Didn't you know," he asks, in all seriousness.

"Right. Of course," I pause. "And then what?"

"Round 3. Maybe some lunch later," he winks.

In those few words, he calms me, lets me know he's not going anywhere. My heart couldn't be any happier.

* * *

**A/N:**

I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Amy, aka Mama A! I hope you have a sparkly day filled with cupcakes and Rob p0rn. I hope you liked this little story. It was as close as I could get to Rapperward or HipHopward. I love you!

**A HUGE THANK YOU to Jiff for listening to my crazy, helping me come up with ideas, being my beta and catching all my wonky tenses. I love you to the moon and back.**

Hope anyone else who read this enjoyed it. I know parts of it are a little cheese...a little out there, but it was all in good fun! The pit licking was all for Amy...ain't my bag, but girl loves it! LOL.


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